The first time I married The Mister was in October, 2001. I say first time because we've been married a couple more times since then. Oh, we've never broken up or anything. It's just that they keep changing the rules on us.
In October of 2001, The Mister and I had been together for almost two years and there were no signs of slowing down. When we first met in 1999, we knew right away that we had each found our missing piece. So we bought cheap silver rings at a little shop on Belmont and pledged our commitment to one another. That, at the time, felt like enough.
By 2001 we were watching as our straight friends were having elaborate ceremonies to celebrate their matrimony and, well, I guess it got to us. When our friends John and Stephanie announced that they were going to Las Vegas to look at venues for their upcoming wedding, we decided to go along. And that's how it all started.
Somewhere along the process of buying our plane tickets and booking a room, The Mister and I decided that we should have a wedding ceremony, too. Now, in case you don't remember, gay marriage wasn't yet legal anywhere in the United States in 2001. We set out to find a Vegas venue where two dudes could get hitched and then we searched for someone to officiate. We ended up with a little basement wedding chapel in one of the strip hotels. Nothing fancy but nothing too Vegas-y - meaning there were no Elvis impersonators or quickie shotgun weddings. To officiate, we found a rather spiritual former showgirl who talked to us a couple times via phone before the wedding. While there wasn't anything legally binding about this union, it felt important to us to stand in front of someone and agree to our commitment to one another. That the someone was a large breasted, impeccably dressed former Vegas showgirl seemed cool to us.
In the weeks leading up to our wedding trip, I spent considerable time decided what we'd wear for our event. I vacillated between casual and formal and settled somewhere in between with vintage tuxes, white shirts and no ties. I scoured thrift stores for weeks, looking for a tux that would fit my small frame. I ended up with a slim fitting tux from the 1920's. For The Mister, I found a similar tux, although it probably dated back to the 60's. I was going for a swinging Rat Pack look for the wedding but I don't think I achieved it. At least, not with that hair! (Sidebar: I never realized how much I'm losing my hair until I started looking at these old photos!)
I'd like to say that I still have the tux I wore that day but, sadly, it has disintegrated over time. It probably didn't help that I turned the jacket into everyday wear for awhile. I used to love mixing that slim tux jacket with jeans and sneakers! When the jacket started to fall apart, I added pink zig-zag stitching around the lapels and an oversized faux diamond button. It may sound a bit outre, but it actually looked rather snazzy. Or, at least, I remember it looking snazzy. The jacket landed me in the pages of Chicago Tribune when I wore it to Glamarama in 2004. That was my first taste of being singled out for my fashion ... and I loved it!
While a lot has changed since 2001 (less hair, more wrinkles), one thing remains the same: I'm happy to have found my other half. As much as I love style and fashion, I love The Mister more. I'm forever grateful that he keeps agreeing to marry me.
Image: Jason Loper
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