I was honored when the creative team behind the videos, a New York ad agency called Concept Farm, reached out to ask for my participation in the videos. Concept Farm had originally come to me by way of my handbag designs. They were looking for creative folks like me, they said, who could demonstrate the many creative possibilities of working with Vecco colorant. While I knew that they were working with other creatives, I had no idea I would be joining a group that included folks like stencil artist Ed Roth and illustrator Samantha Hahn. What an honor!
Filming the videos was a blast. A lot of hard work, mind you, but a lot of fun too. A small crew from Concept Farm, about half a dozen people in total, flew to Chicago and came to Captain Dapper HQ for two days of intensive filming. You want to feel like a Kardarshian? Have a camera crew follow you around your home and neighborhood for a couple of days!
The crew shot footage as I worked with the colorant, demonstrating its creative uses. They also got footage of me grabbing coffee at my neighborhood hangout, walking along the beach in my neighborhood, shopping for fabrics and, well, of me being me. We shot main footage, B footage and voice overs. One of the crew would dab my face with powder every now and then. Ah, the life of a star! At the time, the videos felt like an amazing opportunity to build my portfolio and add a little star quality to my personal brand. Little did I know that it would also put my dream job in jeopardy.
I was standing in a noisy street festival in Chicago's Wicker Park neighborhood when I got a message that my videos had been edited and were live. Standing there with a couple of friends, we watched the video at the top of this post on my phone. We couldn't hear it anything over the din of hipsters getting drunk of beer and handicrafts, but were all blown away by the visuals. I looked damned good, if I do say so myself! When I got back home that night, I watched all four videos, with sound this time. I was proud of my work and happy that I could add these videos to my portfolio.
A few months later, I got a very angry phone call from my boss. I was an editor for a big nesting blog at the time and, despite getting prior approval to do the videos, the owner of the blog was not happy. When the videos were brought to his attention, all hell broke loose. What followed was weeks of stressful discussions, in which my intelligence and my honor to my employer were questioned. I was accused of stealing ad revenue from the site. I was threatened with termination and then given a weekend to think about my actions and how they had negatively impacted my employer.
I was completely blindsided by this reaction from my manager and the owner of the blog. As far as I could see, I had every right to do a little freelance work on the side and, if anything, my participation in these videos was a boost to the site's reputation. I admitted to making the mistake of mentioning the site that employed me by name, apologized repeatedly for participating in the videos in the first place and promised to put my own ambitions on the back burner in order to keep my job.
Of course, it's hard to get good work out of someone who has been threatened with being fired. My dream job quickly devolved into a nightmare. I was put behind the proverbial eight ball and no matter how well my posts performed or how many extra tasks I volunteered to do, I was constantly reminded that I had betrayed the brand. My boss, who until that point had been a mentor to me, cut me off. A little less than a year later, I left that big blog.
Do I have regrets? Yes and no. I do not regret participating in the videos. Not one bit. Working with the crew and starring in the videos was an honor and a pleasure. I would do it again in a heartbeat. But I do regret that my role in those videos spelled my doom with what was my absolute dream job. I regret that I didn't stand up for myself when the shit started to hit the fan. And I regret that I let my emotions get the best of me, that I let the anger and disappointment of my mentor and employer tear me down until I felt absolutely worthless.
But you know what? Life is one long learning curve. Mistakes will be made along the way. It's staying on track that really matters.
Image and videos: Vecco Studio
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