Ladies: Footed Pajamas Should Never Be Considered Intimate Apparel

Captain Dapper would like to submit this word of advice to all the women of the world. As a self styled style expert and a member of the male community, I feel I am well qualified to speak on this subject. You may not agree with my opinion, ladies, but trust me when I say that I know what I'm talking about.

Ladies, if you want to get laid, please do not consider cutesy footed pajamas as intimate apparel. Your sex partner seeing you in striped pajamas with monkey feet is not going to incite an evening of carnal pleasures. Nor will a leopard print onesie with pink feet. Unless your paramour has some sort of underage or plushy fetish, this look is not going to get you laid. If you want to turn on a man, stick with sexy bra and panties or slip on one of his shirts and nothing else.

Image: Jason Loper